EG11 Freshman Computer Composition

Peer Review

Title of Essay: Narrative

Author's Name: Oribel Archila

Reviewer's Name: Renee Powers - Ficarra

1. What did you like best about this essay?

It kept my attention from the moment I began to read it until the last word was read.

2. How interesting is the introduction? Does it make you want ot continue to read the paper? Why or why not?

An Extremely interesting introduction was written, which sparked my curiosity as I wanted to find out what occurred that would result in having such an impact on her beliefs.

3. What is the thesis statement? Does the author need to make the thesis clearer?

The thesis statement was " This specific incident made me think twice about what I believed in. I know if anyone else had experienced my situation they may feel the same way because all that was happening was real and there was no way to disprove it." This was a very clear description of the theme of the essay.

4. Where in the essay could the author better develop his/her ideas by using examples, comparison-contrast, or cause and effect?

I feel excellent examples were used and I do not think changes are necessary.

5. Is each paragraph in the essay unified? Or do some of the paragraphs contain irrelevant sentences or words that need to be omitted?

Each paragraph was well written, and content of each followed the subject that was being referred to.

6. What paragraphs in the draft, if any, do not support the thesis and need to be omitted?

This question does not apply, as this was a very well written essay.

7. Is there a place in the essay where the writing confused you? How can the author better clarify his/her thoughts?

No, the author continued to tell her story on a well flowing steady basis.

8. How clear is the purpose of the essay? How well has the author met the needs of his/her audience?

The author keeps the attention of the audience as many can relate to such a story on the topic of childhood beliefs that have seemed so real to us.

9. How effective is the ending? Is the essay ended in such a way that you know it is the end?

The conclusion of the essay was very effective, it carried through the idea of how real this experience seemed.

10. What did the author do extremely well?

She kept the suspense and at the end with her mother not being able to unravel the child hood mystery for her, still makes you feel as though there really could have been camels that brought the presents.

11. What could the author do better next time?

As I said the assignment was well written. If it were a ten page assignment she could have continued on about the preparation for the night before the event adding suspense to the night before the camels came in, but given the assignment length this was well done.

12. Has the author made all the arguments for this assignment?

I feel that the author fulfilled all of the assignment requirements by delivering a well structured, well written essay.