EG11 Freshman Computer Composition
Peer Review

Title of Essay - Passion Essay # 1
Author's Name - Renee Powers Ficarra
Reviewer's Name - Andrew Gensinger

1. What did you like best about this essay?

For one, I myself have a cat and love it to death. I found it behind a shopping center and it was skinny to the bone and knew it needed help. I brought it home, even though I knew my dad hated cats. I said that I would just keep it until I could find it a home. It eventually grew on him and now is accepted as part of the family. As for what I liked best about the essay itself is you really get across how much you love animals in your essay. You use a good vocabulary and it really shows passion.

2. How interesting is the introduction? Does it make you want ot continue to read the paper? Why or why not?

The introduction was good but I think you need to spice it up a bit. Use more description and it will make people want to read the paper more.

3. What is the thesis statement? Does the author need to make the thesis clearer?

The thesis statement comes across fine. A blind man could understand what the thesis statement to this essay was.

4. Where in the essay could the author better develop his/her ideas by using examples, comparison-contrast, or cause and effect?

The intoduction could use a little work, thats about it. See above.

5. Is each paragraph in the essay unified? Or do some of the paragraphs contain irrelevant sentences or words that need to be omitted?

I don’t think their was any irrelivant statements made.

6. What paragraphs in the draft, if any, do not support the thesis and need to be omitted?

None

7. Is there a place in the essay where the writing confused you? How can the author better clarify his/her thoughts?

I think I pretty much knew what you were saying the whole way through.

8. How clear is the purpose of the essay? How well has the author met the needs of his/her audience?

Their were a lot of run on sentences. You need to stop using so many commas and break it into smaller sentences.

9. How effective is the ending? Is the essay ended in such a way that you know it is the end?

Yes, the ending is fine.

10. What did the author do extremely well?

Describe her love for animals, and get the point of the story across.

11. What could the author do better next time?

Don't have run on’s in the essay.

12. Has the author made all the arguments for this assignment?

I’d say so.

Click here to read the Essay Written By Renee Powersficarra